Howard The Dick

I have a joke based on an interview from ELLE Magazine in 2005 with terrence howard. I'm not going to write the joke out instead I've posted some of the best parts. Keep in mind that this is a straightforward Q&A. GO. 

ELLE: Nice girl. What does your ideal woman look like?
TH: I like women who look like me. Generally, you're attracted to women who look like you, because the most beautiful thing in nature is your own reflection.
ELLE: So…you like a lady with a pencil moustache?
TH: No, but a woman who shares my features.

Terrence Howard's Perfect Woman (pictured above)

ELLE: What one item could you find in a woman's house that would prove that you weren't compatible?
TH: Toilet paper—and no baby wipes—in her bathroom.
ELLE: Wait. I don't think I understand.
TH: If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go inside a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean.

In the Howard Home It's "No luvs, no love"

ELLE: You were married very young, got divorced, and then spent years trying to get your ex back, got together again a few years ago, but are now apart. What happened?

TH: I realized why she divorced me in the first place. I was in love with her, but she was not in love with me. I can't be upset because she doesn't find me the most beautiful thing on the planet. But I don't look much like her, so I understand that.
ELLE: Do you think her not being in love with you had anything to do with your cheating when you were first married?
TH: Yeah, I'm sure lack of trust, lack of fidelity did. But I guess we all have to go through that at times.
ELLE: What's the angriest you've ever seen a woman?
TH: When you see a woman go in the kitchen and get a knife, that's pretty angry.
ELLE: You think she was prepared to use it?
TH: I didn't stick around long enough to find out.

LADIES?!